The Ecchi Failure: Eiken

Image from Master Menos review on Blogspot

This one isn’t for the kiddies. If you’re not old enough to see naked girls, you’re in for a bad day.

I’ve always been a defender of Ecchi despite not watching much of it. There’s nothing wrong with the sexual drive, and I fully support the rights of artists to draw their girls (or guys) in as little clothing as possible. But there comes a point where the absurdity and insanity of it kills any merit, and what was supposed to be hot becomes horrific.

Let me paint a picture for you: I was in the early stages of college, with an English paper looming on the horizon. My topic in question was how women were portrayed in anime, and I was quickly learning that that depended on who the target audience was. I had watched a lot of episodes of some really short series, a few of some long ones, and had seen a pretty wide range. But I knew that, if I wanted a full opinion, I needed to see as bad as I could conceivably get.

I could only think of one. The awfully animated stain on my viewing experience: Eiken.

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I’m late to the party.

Now before you break out your pitchforks, I have nothing against harem animes either. Fantasies about being the center of attention by the desired sex are not exclusive to men, after all, so no one’s here to judge that. But most harem, and ecchi by extension, can compensate a lack of plot with some decent sexy-time, and Eiken can’t even accomplish that. It’s so far away from being titillating that it’s problems become glaring, and adds a whole new page in the dictionary of sexual objectification.

So, story wise, Eiken isn’t that different from most harem animes. It’s an 18 chapter harem manga turned anime about high school student Densuke Mifune (because wish-fulfilment tastes better with puberty). Densuke is an untalented man who isn’t held back by the pesky Personality Fairy, and exists to have a huge crush on the big-breasted shy girl, Chiharu Shinonome.  Because he “accidentally” gropes the girl on his first day, he’s forced to join the “Eiken club.” What is the Eiken club? Allow the wiki to explain:

The club’s activities are hardly structured and it’s reason for even existing is a mystery but most of it’s[sic] activities tend to involve wearing bikini’s, and when half the club have ‘asset’s’ bigger than their head’s and modesty is a foreign concept it’s going to be trouble for him to keep all his blood from rushing to his head and out his nose.


Or, in  less used-car-salesman terms, the club has no purpose and exists as a plot device to get busty women in bikinis that don’t fit, and the show will flash you about every other frame.

So the anime is supposed to be pretty self-explanatory: sexually exploitive comedy that’s built on dirty jokes, impossibly large breasts, and crapton of slapstick. But no one in their right mind will find Eiken funny, and barely anyone will find it sexy. As Kavik Ryx on The Nihon Review puts it, “The continuous bouncing of breasts is one thing, but when they are horrendously proportioned EEs, FFs, and WTFs, it is just impossible to get past the absurdity of it all.” It’s taking something people like and turning it into a horror show, and your average harem anime fan is not going to appreciate that.

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I don’t want it to be possible either, bro, but here we are.

And lo, when the sexual appeal dies, the lazy shall rise from the ashes. Since shaking their breasts keys didn’t help, the show tries to fall back on vulgar humor and choppy editing. The jokes are so predictable, and more often than not ring hollow when the punchline rears its ugly head. Combined with a lackluster plot, bad editing, and a half-assed attempt at being arousing, you have a catastrophe in slow motion.

That, above all, is why Eiken is my vote for the worst anime that has ever graced the internet. There is nothing more pathetic than an anime that fails at the low-hanging fruit, and has nothing to show for it but unfunny comedy and mind-numbing stupidity. It’s horrendous to look at, horrendous to listen to, and maybe, just maybe I and the rest of the web will let the world forget about it.

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But I doubt it.

But, until then, suffer with me, won’t you? Check out the Nihon review of the show, or Bennett the Sage’s review.  Feel free to comment below about your vote for the worst anime, and don’t forget to like and share.

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One thought on “The Ecchi Failure: Eiken

  1. You clearly really disliked that. But I have to agree, there is nothing worse than a show that fails to even achieve the low level it aims for. I haven’t watched this anime, and after reading the above I am unlikely to ever watch it. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

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