Top 5 Pokemon Go Fails

The Second Coming of Pokemon has been a delicious spectacle. People who used to roll their eyes at the full-grown adults buried in their Gameboy are now out trouncing about for virtual monsters. The news is once again baffled at the popularity of these Japanese creatures, and can’t pump the articles out fast enough.

But, with a flood of any fad comes the backwash, the events that make you scratch your head and ask why just why? These are the Top 5 Pokemon Go fails, proving that humanity still has to work out a few kinks in the gene pool.

  1. Pokemon Gone to China

For those of you who don’t play, you catch Pokemon in-game by flicking Pokeballs at it in hopes of hitting, and catching. This takes some practice and risks wasting several precious Pokeballs, so a game where you could practice would be gobbled up pretty quick. Chinese company  Rejected Games: FPS Adventure & Sport SimulationAdventure figured that out, and produced a knock-off game that has you flick colored balls at weird Pokemon knock-offs. And if the company’s name doesn’t scare you off, the knockoffs will:

28801422022_c8c5ff50a9_o

Image property of thenextweb.com… they can keep it.

Now obviously these, er, “Pocket Monsters” can’t look like actual Pokemon lest they incur the wrath of the Nintendo Gods,  but this isn’t even close. If you need some Nightmare Fuel for the day click the link in the heading.

  1. There’s a Time and a Place to Pokemon Go…

Now, I believe Pokemon Games are for everybody. I’m not judging this guy for being an adult who plays Pokemon; I’m judging him because, as an adult, he should have known better.

Canadian police got themselves a scare a few days ago. A York driver was seen by a chopper driving erratically on the road, so they naturally followed it under suspicions of drunk/drugged driving. But when they did pull the man over, they discovered he wasn’t anything of the sort…He was playing Pokemon Go.

giphy

The driver is fine and got little more than a scolding and a warning ticket. I’m sure he looks forward to the day when he gets to sit down and tell future generations that he almost got a ticket for Poke’Hunting and Driving.

  1.  Gotta fence’em all, Pokemon!

Poor Canada, just can’t catch a break today, can you?

In the game, there are areas that are called “pokestops” where you can get free items. Pokestops are usually important cultural sights, like statues, city buildings, and landmarks. This gets a lot of people in trouble for wandering into areas they shouldn’t, like soldier graveyards and other people’s houses, but this good news is that you can get the item just by being kinda close to the landmark. Naturally, these stops attract a lot of attention…sometimes, maybe, too much.

Toronto’s Jack Layton Ferry Terminal is a Pokestop.  It got so overcrowded with people, probably hoping for rare candies, that they’ve actually built a fence to heard the Go players away from the average person who just wants to use public transit.

17dyyf

It’s one of many crowding problems the game has created, and probably won’t be the last. Thankfully, there are groups of players coming together to clean up litter and keep the place clean. It’s a level of responsibility I think everyone playing the game should be using.

  1. Do not Pass Pokemon Go, do not collect 200 PokeDollars.

But you know, with all these stories of people being too crowded, too stupid to drive, and too scary to comprehend, one wonders if the game has done anything good for someone. Turns out, it helped the Detroit police catch a criminal.

The game lead Michigan Man William Wilcox directly into the Milford Police station, and directly into his arrest. Wilcox wandered into the building because the game marks it as a gym, but he seemed to forget that the Police were well aware of his criminal record and that he had a warrant on him. Naturally, he was arrested on the spot but was more angry about being torn away from the game than going to jail.

hqdefault-480x330

NOOOOO! NOT MY POKEMANS!

We won’t talk about how he was riding a bike in his pajamas while on the game. But the mental illness award doesn’t go to him. It goes to…

  1. Pokemon NO means NO!

 

An unnamed Russian woman who has a real problem.

This unnamed woman fell asleep while playing the game, then claims that she awoke to one of the monsters raping her. When she told her husband that a virtual monster had assaulted her, he gently suggested that she go see a therapist. Instead of getting the help she clearly needed, the woman filed a report with the police, who also told her that she needed some professional help.

This also wasn’t the first oddity this woman claimed. She also claimed that her dog would start barking whenever she played the game, leaving her to believe the creatures are real. Jokes aside, it’s hard to tell if this woman just doesn’t understand what augmented reality is or if there really is a mental illness at play here. Either way, we at the Otakudon are happy that she’s seeking help, and hope she gets better.

efaab73e34e448ce3011b8a9ddba770d

Remember kiddies, love, and peace!

What do you love/hate about Pokemon Go? Feel free to comment below and don’t forget to like the post. Follow for more content, we post every Saturday, Sunday for late posts.

And if you really like what you see (if I may shamelessly plug for a sec) I also have a FictionPress account. If you’d like to check out any of my original fiction, click here. If you need a recommendation, try my YA story Gilded.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s