Alola, fellow Otaku!
This was supposed to have been up last week, and it was last I checked, but somehow I found it again in my drafts. I don’t know why, but here it is… again.
Merry Christmas indeed.
Anyway, Pokemon has gone to Hawaii in its newest title, Pokemon Sun, and Pokemon Moon. This time Game Freak whisks away trainers to Alola, a beautiful group of islands based off Hawaii. Here trainers battle Captains and Kahunas for z-crystals, face off against the punk terrorist, Team Skull, and aim to be the new Island Champion.
And of course, with a new region, comes a new Pokedex….
You could say I’m a happy camper
Just like the Johto Region, Alola sports some reskinned classics and a crop of fresh Pokemon designs. And because I read way too much into flavor text in games, I of course found several of the new Pokedex entries accidentally disturbing. Because it wasn’t spooky enough that your Pokedex stares right at you the whole time; they had to splash in some accidental Nightmare Fuel.
These are the new Creepiest Pokedex entries, in their numerical order in the Pokedex.
Magnezone — Magnet Phone Home
- Moon: “As it zooms through the sky, this Pokémon seems to be receiving signals of unknown origin, while transmitting signals of unknown purpose.”
Magnets, man, how do they work? Pokemon clearly has no idea.
Magnamite was already kinda creepy if you thought too hard about it, but now it’s wandered straight into the uncanny valley. Now those Magnemite who are forever stuck to each other melded together to form a UFO, forever zooming the skies as a legion-like entity. Given how the show straight up admitted that Clefairy were aliens, it wouldn’t surprise me if Magnezone just confirmed Magnemite is from Mars
Oh, and if anyone from Gamefreak is reading this, a new game that takes place on another planet would be a bucket of awesome.
Crabomidable — True Grit and True Horror
- Sun: “It aimed for the top but got lost and ended up on a snowy mountain. Being forced to endure the cold, this Pokémon evolved and grew fur.”
Hey kids, guess what? Your fighting/water type nearly died in the cold!
Crabomidable, besides being a cute pun, scares players not on the grounds of appearance but on the implications. Because nothing says “kid friendly” like the image of a tiny little crab falling off a mountain, buried alive in a mound of snow, and turning into a crazy yeti. But speaking of classic nightmare fuel…
Mareanie/Toxapex — Dinner and a Murder, Anybody?
- Sun (Mareanie): “It plunges the poison spike on its head into its prey. When the prey has weakened, Mareanie deals the finishing blow with its 10 tentacles.”
- Sun (Toxapex): “Toxapex crawls along the ocean floor on its 12 legs. It leaves a trail of Corsola bits scattered in its wake.”
Oh goodie, it’s not just humans in this universe who eat Pokemon.
Mareanie and Toxapex are both based off the Crown-Of-Thorns starfish, a spiky little fella who likes to prey on coral polyps. So, the Pokemon Creation Team decided to stay as close to the source material as possible and made this little guy a Corsola Killer in both of his evolutionary stages. If you don’t find this creepy, just picture a Corsola minding its own business, and these things suddenly barrel towards it.
And on that note…
Yungoos/Gumshoos — If Only I Could Keep My Eyes Open…
- Sun (Yungoos): “It wanders around in a never-ending search for food. At dusk, it collapses from exhaustion and falls asleep on the spot.”
- Moon (Gumshoos): “It adores having Rattata and Raticate for dinner, but as it’s diurnal, it never encounters them. This Pokémon boasts incredible patience.”
Meet your new Ratatta: a perpetually angry mongoose that hangs around everywhere and looks like the Love Machine from Summer Wars. But wait, kiddies, this thing also likes to eat those cute purple mice you’ve seen since you were kids, and it works so hard to find them that it literally faints every night.
Araquanid — I Didn’t Mean to, George. It Was an Accident…
- Sun: “It delivers headbutts with the water bubble on its head. Small Pokémon get sucked into the bubble, where they drown.”
- Moon: “Despite what its appearance suggests, it cares for others. If it finds vulnerable, weak Pokémon, it protectively brings them into its water bubble.”
Oh, the road to hell is most certainly paved with good intentions, as evident by this water-spider monstrosity with the adorable bubble on its head. Its want to save the tiny little Pokemon around it seems to make it forget that not every one of them is aquatic, and results in the accidental death of his/her new friends. At least that’s the romantic version of what happens. The real thing is probably far worse and less tragic.
Shiinotic — Come, Little Humans, I’ll Take Thee Away….
- Sun: Forests where Shiinotic live are treacherous to enter at night. People confused by its strange lights can never find their way home again.
- Moon: It emits flickering spores that cause drowsiness. When its prey succumbs to sleep, this Pokémon feeds on them by sucking in their energy.
What is it with Pokemon and evil mushrooms?
So if you read my previous entry on creepy Pokemon than you’ll probably recall my entry on Parasect, where the mushrooms growing on its back merge together, kill Paras, and control it like a zombie. Now we have that mushroom’s fairy cousin, which likes to use flashing lights to hypnotize humans and trap them forever in a forest, feeding on them once they fall asleep. This fairy type really puts the grim in Grimm’s fairy tales, proving that the little buggers are not above being little parasites.
Sandygast/Palosand — RKO’s Newest Mascot.
- Moon: (Sandygast) “It takes control of anyone who puts a hand in its mouth. And so it adds to the accumulation of its sand-mound body.”
- Moon: (Palosand) “Buried beneath the castle are masses of dried-up bones from those whose vitality it has drained.”
Only in Pokemon can you go from deadly and capricious fungus to possessed, evil sand. Sandygast feels like something out of a B-rated horror movie from the 80’s, with its soul-snatching mouth and utterly non-frightening appearance. Then it evolves to something twice as silly looking, but with a horrific Pokedex entry. Reading the flavor text for both of these guys, sometimes you have to remind yourself that Nintendo intended both of these games to be for children.
Mimikyu — I AM NOT AN ANIMA-Oh Wait.
- Sun: “Its actual appearance is unknown. A scholar who saw what was under its rag was overwhelmed by terror and died from the shock.”
- Moon: “A lonely Pokémon, it conceals its terrifying appearance beneath an old rag so it can get closer to people and other Pokémon.”
Lastly, we have my new favorite entry, possibly a new favorite Pokemon.
Taking inspiration from the old bed-sheet Halloween costume, Gamefreak presents a Pokemon who forever lives in shame, covering its ghastly appearance with the most adorable Pikachu costume ever. Now I know this one’s supposed to be like the elephant man, and I should be quaking in my boots about the fellow who died after seeing it, but I have the biggest urge to give this guy a gigantic bear hug. I’m a sucker for romanticized tragedy, and this one hits me right in the feels.
What are your new favorites from the new generation? Do these guys strike terror into your hearts? Or do they fall flat? Feel free to comment below and don’t forget to like for more material just like this. Feel free to follow me to get updates on when I post!