The Real Failure of Death Note (2017)

After an eternity of wailing at the worldwide web, the 2017 Netflix film, Death Note, hit the scene. But it only took one day for dedicated fans to decry it as absolute trash.

It was clear from the get-go that this film would be an experiment with terrible odds. I described in a previous post that I thought a westernized version of Death Note was a waste of time, strictly because what little fans did exist would never accept something so radically different. And, as predicted, hard-core fans of the manga/anime booted the film into the reject pile. In an ironic twist, it was also panned by new watchers everywhere.

In concurrence, my problem isn’t what they left out; it’s what they put in. The problem with the 2017 film is not that it’s a bad adaptation, but that it gives fans a sub par version of the story that may be pretty to look at but is horrible in execution. I didn’t come into this hoping for a faithful recreation of one of my favorite series, but I at least expected something competent.

On the basics, we haven’t changed much. The story still concerns a boy named Light, last name Turner (Natt Wolf), who’s the school’s resident genius. But where Yagami was a charismatic overachiever who got bored and frustrated with the world, Turner is a weak-willed idealist, frustrated at the lack of revenge against his mother’s killer. During a particularly nasty storm, a black book falls out of the sky, labeled “death note.” Light takes the book with him and gets a visit from a Japanese Death God named Ryuk (William Dafoe).  Ryuk explains that Light now has the power to kill anyone by picturing their face and writing their name in the book. Better yet, he can decide how they die with very little strings attached. After testing the book out on the man that killed his mother, Light shares it with Mia, a cheerleader he’s been crushing on (Margaret Qualley). The two decide to come together to kill all the world’s criminals, attracting the attention of the enigmatic and eccentric detective simply known as L (Keith Stanfield).

Here we see the real changes to the characters occur, and they don’t make a lot of sense. Yagami-Version of Light was driven by the same idealism and morality that Turner is, but played a far more active role in his own story. Turner is a passive protagonist with a truly bland presence, there to play windsock to the much more driven Mia and Ryuk. In fact, Mia (the new Misa Amane) feels much more like Yagami than Turner ever did: she’s passionate to the point of insanity, willing to kill to continue her work, and willing to manipulate others for her “greater good.”  With these two switching places in such a bland fashion, one would swear this was an Alternate Universe Fanfic.

And make no mistake, what we are given is bad. It may be hard to follow up one of the best-written shows in anime, but this story doesn’t even come close. We’ve taken a psychological thriller and shoe-horned in a sparkless romance, with a side-order of edgy gore. Leading this debacle of a narrative is a plot-hole of a protagonist; he’s apparently smart enough to construct a successful chain of events to save himself but doesn’t see a problem with reading the death note in public, in broad daylight. Worse yet, we’re expected to believe that this yutz and his girlfriend can outsmart L, an adult genius who practically handed the FBI a drug cartel on a silver platter. This L may be more emotionally unstable and driven by anxiety, but he’s not nearly stupid enough to lose to these two.

The last known viewing party

The shaky ground that this film had was that it was marked as a “new story,” a new interpretation with a twist. In fact, the original creators of the series praised the film as being innovative and beautiful, and were excited about those who’d never seen their story seeing it now. In a way, Ohba and Obata were right; people are enjoying Death Note. They’re just seeking out the show and manga to see if it was the same visual disaster the film was. No joke, the day I sat down to watch this film, Death Note anime was trending hard-core on Netflix.

Adam Wingard may be confident, but you cannot cover up a bland protagonist and flat story with claims of originality and re-adaptation. In the end, Death Note 2017 was just another clunky, horrific live-action adaptation of a good anime. Another one bit the dust and no one was really shocked, me least of all. 

The Shounen Failure: Inuyasha

Oh hey, let’s put me in the line of fire again. That was fun.

I can still recall the first time I saw Inuyasha. Sicker than a dog (heh) and staying up way past my bedtime, I came across this weird show on Adult Swim while channel flipping. It had a pretty boy with white hair fighting another white-haired pretty boy with really cool powers, so I was definitely interested. The only part that didn’t really work for me was the female, who liked to stand around and obsessively scream at white-haired boy #1 during the fight. Whatever my reservations, it got my curious and I checked out the rest of the show later on.

Then I got older. And now the show annoys me to no end.

This was my face the last few episodes I saw.

This show feels like it was supposed to be a “Ra Ra, girl power in shounen” series that falls flat on its face within the first season. The plot is repetitive and annoying, our protagonists are unlikeable schmucks, and there are far too many cooks in the kitchen when it comes to our “antagonists.” 

I want to be clear, this is not a rag on the manga artist. I know Rumiko Takahashi can write and draw really well, being a fan of Ranma 1/2. What I don’t understand exactly is what went wrong with this show. I have my theories below, but what exactly went wrong always eludes me.

 

• Shikon Hot Potato!

There’s one type of plot I hate above all others: the repetitive one. If your plot is so barren than you need to repeat yourself like some lazily-written Groundhog Day to keep it going then you need to consider whether your story should go on at all. Hence one of my earlier posts, Survive or Stagnate.

Inuyasha stagnated something fierce, refused to lay down and die for the longest time. Our resuscitation paddles here came from the ever infamous Shikon Jewel Shards, the pieces of a powerful jewel that Kagome shattered in the beginning of the show.The group’s quest has been to gather the shards to keep big bad baddy Naraku from getting his hands on it. Despite this providing a great opportunity to stretch the story out naturally, the show feels the need to have the hero’s shard collection stolen over, and over, and over again. And just when you think they’ve gotten it back on track…. they lose it again… for five more episodes.

When it comes to Shounen, repetition is a sickness. In my “Secret To Success” post on One Piece, I praised Oda for keeping the show going for its ridiculous length by constantly coming up with new and exciting plotlines to chase. By adding new material, you could hypothetically keep a show going forever and keep your audience entertained. When Shounen chases its tail, on the other hand, you risk losing people who’ve been there since day one.

• When Did Abuse Become Funny?

Maybe I just don’t get the Tsundere trope, but I’ve never found romantic violence all that funny or entertaining.

With the protagonist being a human girl in a world of danger, not many people will probably criticize Kagome for wanting to be protected at all times. However, when that threat has passed, when does a want for protection become an obsessive and petty means of causing pain?  Of course, I’m referring to Inuyasha and the prayer beads.

 

I know how slapstick works, and I know how the “Slap-Slap-Kiss” Dynamic is supposed to work. Inuyasha and Kagome are too very hot-headed, very immature characters who have to come to terms with their emotions and we get to laugh along the way. What I don’t get, and what I’ve never gotten, is why Kagome didn’t remove the prayer beads when it became abundantly clear he wasn’t going to kill her, or run off on her.

 

There there, honey, you had it coming

In short, it’s because the show thinks it’s funny to constantly have her punish him for various petty things that teenage girls care about, like insulting her cooking, or not noticing her like a good sempai. But what’s supposed to be funny began to ring abusive to me after it became clear that these two were romantically involved and that leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

• Cheap Pathos Makes the Bad Media go Round

And now, my biggest Pet-Peeve: Kikyo. My God, Kikyo, why do you exist?

An intro to the new guys: Kikyo was Inuyasha’s love interest just before he got killed. The two were well on their way to being together when plot happened and Kikyo was convinced she had to kill Inuyasha, which in turn killed her. The big romantic hub-bub between Inuyasha and Kagome is that Kagome is Kikyo’s reincarnation self. This opened the door for a questionable but otherwise very Japanese fantasy romance that would have been enjoyable and allowed Inuyasha to move on.

And then Kikyo got resurrected as a zombie and wrecked the whole thing.

I come baring High School Drama!

This idea can work for a one-arc thing, putting Inuyasha through the emotional wringer, and then lose her for a second time for extra angst. But Kikyo became a regular antagonist for the show, a killer zombie whose sole purpose is to kill her lover for the second time. But, to be honest, I’m pretty sure she’s just here to make the fans go “Oh noz, we he leave Kagome?”

This is just cheap pathos. The key to a successful second antagonist is credible threat and logical cause and the presentation of a new threat. Azula makes sense in Avatar The Last Airbender because, while Zuko wants to capture the Avatar, she wants to kill him. Both Naraku and Sesshomaru want Inuyasha dead, and Zombie-Kikyo has little to offer that both of them haven’t already done.

• Sad But True

It’s easy to accuse me of criticizing a show I just never liked. But, truth be told, I used to love this show, making me all the sadder it’s turned so sour. I enjoyed watching the show for a very long time and lost interest midway through. I got very bored with the repetitive plot, lost my taste for the comedy, and just felt like the show was pandering to a different group than mine.

This show has strengths. Characters like Koga, Miroku, even Sesshomaru are well done for their interesting powers or backstories, sometimes both. The show also knows how to make some really cool monsters and, had it focused on the Yokai of Ancient Japan, it would have been something special. But, instead of a cool action series surrounding old Japanese Mythology, we have stagnating Shounen series with some real cool mythology accenting the edges. It’s one of those times that I wished the scenery would chew the actors… and hopefully spit them back out.
Do you disagree? Is Inuyasha your favorite show? I’m interested in hearing from everyone, so feel free to comment down below. Don’t forget to like and follow for more content just like this.

The Ecchi Failure: Eiken

Image from Master Menos review on Blogspot

This one isn’t for the kiddies. If you’re not old enough to see naked girls, you’re in for a bad day.

I’ve always been a defender of Ecchi despite not watching much of it. There’s nothing wrong with the sexual drive, and I fully support the rights of artists to draw their girls (or guys) in as little clothing as possible. But there comes a point where the absurdity and insanity of it kills any merit, and what was supposed to be hot becomes horrific.

Let me paint a picture for you: I was in the early stages of college, with an English paper looming on the horizon. My topic in question was how women were portrayed in anime, and I was quickly learning that that depended on who the target audience was. I had watched a lot of episodes of some really short series, a few of some long ones, and had seen a pretty wide range. But I knew that, if I wanted a full opinion, I needed to see as bad as I could conceivably get.

I could only think of one. The awfully animated stain on my viewing experience: Eiken.

I’m late to the party.

Now before you break out your pitchforks, I have nothing against harem animes either. Fantasies about being the center of attention by the desired sex are not exclusive to men, after all, so no one’s here to judge that. But most harem, and ecchi by extension, can compensate a lack of plot with some decent sexy-time, and Eiken can’t even accomplish that. It’s so far away from being titillating that it’s problems become glaring, and adds a whole new page in the dictionary of sexual objectification.

So, story wise, Eiken isn’t that different from most harem animes. It’s an 18 chapter harem manga turned anime about high school student Densuke Mifune (because wish-fulfilment tastes better with puberty). Densuke is an untalented man who isn’t held back by the pesky Personality Fairy, and exists to have a huge crush on the big-breasted shy girl, Chiharu Shinonome.  Because he “accidentally” gropes the girl on his first day, he’s forced to join the “Eiken club.” What is the Eiken club? Allow the wiki to explain:

The club’s activities are hardly structured and it’s reason for even existing is a mystery but most of it’s[sic] activities tend to involve wearing bikini’s, and when half the club have ‘asset’s’ bigger than their head’s and modesty is a foreign concept it’s going to be trouble for him to keep all his blood from rushing to his head and out his nose.

Or, in  less used-car-salesman terms, the club has no purpose and exists as a plot device to get busty women in bikinis that don’t fit, and the show will flash you about every other frame.

So the anime is supposed to be pretty self-explanatory: sexually exploitive comedy that’s built on dirty jokes, impossibly large breasts, and crapton of slapstick. But no one in their right mind will find Eiken funny, and barely anyone will find it sexy. As Kavik Ryx on The Nihon Review puts it, “The continuous bouncing of breasts is one thing, but when they are horrendously proportioned EEs, FFs, and WTFs, it is just impossible to get past the absurdity of it all.” It’s taking something people like and turning it into a horror show, and your average harem anime fan is not going to appreciate that.

I don’t want it to be possible either, bro, but here we are.

And lo, when the sexual appeal dies, the lazy shall rise from the ashes. Since shaking their breasts keys didn’t help, the show tries to fall back on vulgar humor and choppy editing. The jokes are so predictable, and more often than not ring hollow when the punchline rears its ugly head. Combined with a lackluster plot, bad editing, and a half-assed attempt at being arousing, you have a catastrophe in slow motion.

That, above all, is why Eiken is my vote for the worst anime that has ever graced the internet. There is nothing more pathetic than an anime that fails at the low-hanging fruit, and has nothing to show for it but unfunny comedy and mind-numbing stupidity. It’s horrendous to look at, horrendous to listen to, and maybe, just maybe I and the rest of the web will let the world forget about it.

But I doubt it.

But, until then, suffer with me, won’t you? Check out the Nihon review of the show, or Bennett the Sage’s review.  Feel free to comment below about your vote for the worst anime, and don’t forget to like and share.